Your Face in My Mirror
by Safe-urself-kill-em-all
Summary: You can't help it. But you look.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Because we are all thinking about THAT scene**

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You can't help it when you find it again.

The mirror, that damned mirror that hid what your heart truly yearned for. Its shape, unmistakable for your clever eyes. Its magic prickling your skin with temptation. Your heart skips a beat when your hand brushes the covers, as it always has.

Your hands itch to pull them and your eyes yearn to see inside. And your heart tells you that one more glance won't do any harm when your brain tells you this is an awful idea.

Your heart wins this time, because you pull the covers and hold your breath. At first you see yourself in the mirror, alone, and for once you think that maybe Ariana will appear along with Aberforth and your parents all together at least. It would hurt less than what came instead.

He soon appears and looks straight at you, with his mismatched eyes so beautiful and still an enigma to you. He looks like the last time you saw him in person. With his golden locks and that boyish face you loved so much. He looks at you the same way he used to do when you said something brilliant. He would look at you like you hid the answers to all his questions, his missing piece, the light to his darkness.

At least that's what you like to think it was. If it was ever all true.

It's only a moment, for you later see the Gellert Grindelwald everyone knows. On the papers his eyes are older, wiser, colder. Here, in front of you, he has soft eyes that yearn as much as yours do. He has that smirk he would send you when you talked in hushed tones about theories and the both of you as masters of Death.

And you can't help it.

You reach out for him, and he does the same. Your hand is against his on the cold magic glass. If you focus enough you can feel the warmth of his skin. You close your eyes and you can even feel him behind you, caressing your sides and pressing down as if to lay a claim the same way you always liked him to do when you were younger on that summer long ago gone. You take a deep breath and his scent assaults your nose.

You can't help it but you smile.

The mind was always a powerful thing, you knew this.

You press back on the feeling almost on instinct, knowing full well you will be met with only air. Except you are met with a solid body. You open your eyes and turn your head around, body held in place.

You are met with two mismatched eyes.

"Hello, Albie"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I published this on AO3 first and I tought I would put it here too. Also this was an unplanned continuation, but many people asked for it and I serve to please, so enjoy!**

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"What are you doing here?" You are proud of yourself with how little your voice wavers, especially with how close he is, his hands still gripping your waist.

"Just passing by, mein geliebter" you feel his words in a hot breath against the side of your head and you hear your own breathing hitch in your throat. That nickname. It's been so long since the last time you heard it "I missed you" he whispers in your ear.

"Gellert-" you begin, because it's becoming all too much too soon.

"No. You know how to call me, Albie" he purrs while his grip becomes tighter around you.

"Gelly" you whisper the word as if it were sacred, and no one but the both of them should hear it "I missed you too" the confession rolls out of your tongue, sincere, yearning. You regret saying them seconds later once you consider Grindelwald might have been lying when he said it first "how did you find me?"

"You keep forgetting, my love" his accent catches on the endearment, like it always has since he found out how much you liked how it sounded back then "your magic calls out to me, ever since we became one, just as much as mine does to you" and it is true, you might have been able to feel it, but you were so entranced in the mirror and your missed opportunities that you completely ignored the silent call.

"I should have known better than to agree to such a thing" the lie feels heavy on your tongue and throat, bitter. You pull yourself regrettably out of his embrace, with little resistance on your partner's side, and turn to him.

You almost wish he hadn't let go that easy of you.

"You know why we did it. And you know why it worked so well" he softly speaks as he pulls aside his long coat on his left side, revealing the shiny, silver proof of their affair sitting right on top of where his heart is "only true love makes a perfectly physical blood pact like this one, mein lieber, and you know it" your eyes widen at the sight of such precious object.

It's like a primal magical call once you see it. Your magic makes you want to touch it, to feel the proof of such a pure young love like the one you two shared so long ago.

And again, you can't help it.

You come closer, aware of the smirk on the icy blond man's face. Gellert takes it out of its place pinned on his vest and holds it in his hand, palm up, waiting for yours to cover it.

Before you know it you are mere inches apart. You feel his eyes staring, looking for yours, while you fix your gaze towards the pendant in your lover's hand.

No. Not lovers. You weren't that anymore.

However, your hand finally touches his, caging the blood pact between the both of your hands, your fingers touching Gellert's wrist. It is the best feeling in the world, to touch him and to touch the pendant again. You can feel your magic and Gellert's own caressing your skin, protecting the both of you, as if this little magical corner were everything you needed.

It feels like when you were young, and in love and the only goal was to seek the deathly hallows and rule the world. You swear you can even smell the summer breeze, sweet and hot and full of promises, along with the natural smell of the barn you did this oath in.

You hear Gellert take a deep breath, as if he too felt overwhelmed by the memories, and he starts rotating his hand until his fingers are aligned with yours, pendant still in place. It feels like that night, only in a different place. Same moon outside, the same two in love people, drunk in power and future achievements, drunk in love even. You feel his fingers move a bit more and soon they are interlacing with your own, securing the blood pact from falling.

You feel his free hand cup your cheek, and feel his face coming closer. You almost expect to feel his lips against your, but instead you feel his forehead bump softly against your own. You close your eyes to focus on the new intimate skin to skin contact.

"Why are you here, Gellert?" you whisper, and your words come out a little pained, because you might have him here right now, and right now you are the center of his universe, of his world, but it is not forever. Never will be.

"You know why I am here, mein geliebter" you feel his whisper against your lips, realizing now how closer he has come to you "you know I will always ask the same of you" you let out a low dark chuckle. Of course it was that.

"You know the answer already, Gelly" but inside your heart you knew the one you actually wanted to say was different.

"Come with me Albus" his hand falls from your cheek to your neck, trapping you, not letting you pull away. To be quite honest with yourself, you don't want to pull away either. "We could be so great together" you swallow, preparing yourself for what's to come next "we could rule this rotten world. You and me. Like we always dreamed about when we were young. Masters of Death" it always hurts, when he brings up those times.

It hurts because it becomes harder every time you two do this, because every time you remember that summer you remember how in your youth you desired to be something greater than your sibling's nanny. It hurts because you remember with shame how resentful you were toward them, for holding you back from a brighter future.

It hurts the most because deep down, you still feel a little bit of resentment towards them, for taking the man you loved with all your heart and soul away from you.

You are actually afraid one day when Gellert asks, you might say yes. Finally.

"You deserve so much more, mein liebe" he lovingly rubs his nose with yours, and you feel the scratch of his moustache against your skin. "You are wasting your talent in this place"

"And what do you want me to say, Gellert?" You finally speak, a little bit louder this time, a little bit of more rage on your words "To say yes and become a murderer like you? To be feared?" you open your eyes and glare at the smirking man in front of you. He hasn't move an inch away from you "to become a monster?"

"Are afraid of me, my love?" you shake your head, as much as you can with his grip on your neck and his face close to you "Then nothing else matters to me" you sigh in what you know is fond exasperation, knowing Gellert always turns a blind eye on the matter of how to spread the Greater Good "You are my human side, Albie. You are my missing piece to even the scale. You are who I need the most right now" you can feel your eyes burn with unshed tears. It feels sincere, his words. You know Gellert is probably telling the truth, for he always liked to talk about love. Surprisingly he was the more romantic of the two, when you were young.

Unsurprisingly, love was secretly his favorite tactic to manipulate his followers. You would like to believe this is because of his longing for you, but it would probably be asking for too much.

"I can't Gellert. The answer is no" a stray tear makes its way down your cheek. You hear him sigh and soon you feel his hand releasing your neck and he pulls away enough so that your foreheads aren't touching anymore, but he stays close. You expect him to pull away entirely, to retrieve his interlaced hand from yours, taking the pendant with him. Instead you feel a finger wipe it away, and soon you feel those same fingers tilting your face upwards from you chin. What you see still shocks you every time.

His eyes are sad, there are no tears, but you can see the sadness. Maybe even longing.

You look up into his mismatched now sad eyes and close the distance at last, your free hand coming up to the blond's neck This, this is something you can have. This is what keeps you going, after being apart for so long. Being able to kiss Gellert in what you wish will never be the last time – but you know someday it will be – is your prize at the end of these secret encounters.

Gellert kisses you softly, hot lips moving against your own, the position a bit awkward with your hands still locked together with the pendant, but for you this is perfect. This is what you needed after that visit from the ministry, after the accusations and the shackles they put on your wrists.

The dark part of your mind thinks they should be glad you are apparently on their side, for you know if you were ever to agree to follow Grindelwald, nothing and no one would stop them from bringing the Greater Good to the world.

Merlin, doesn't that sound marvelous.

But for now, that doesn't matter, for you are being kissed the breath out of you, and you feel truly happy. Like this moment could last forever. With one of your hands holding the physical proof of your love and the other caressing the short hairs at the back of your lov- of Geller's head, while his free hand grips at your waist, just the way you like it and with enough force to bruise a little, just the way you like it.

The kiss ends all too soon. You feel like a teenager all over again, kissing in dark places where no one can see them. When the two of you would hide from Aberforth's prying eyes and Bathilda's long stories inside the barn where you shared your first everything, where you became one.

"I have to go, mein lieber" you sigh heavily but nod anyway. You always hated this part. "I hope to see you soon. And I hope you reconsider my offer"

"Will you give up one day?" you ask, mildly amused. Amusement being the only thing you can go to right now to avoid the sorrow that starts blooming in your chest.

"Never, mein geliebter" his smile is a defeated one, small, but beautiful none the less. Gellert was always a handsome man.

He pulls away, taking his hand from where it was interlaced with yours, taking the oath you are well aware should take from him. You see him pin it back where it was when he came here, right above his heart, and see it disappear from under his long coat.

You know he is about to leave, apparate out of the school to Merlin knows where. You decide to grab his hand, before he completely gets away from you, and use the only thing you ever bothered to learn in German and have not said in a long time. The only thing that truly mattered to you. And you know you shouldn't. You know this.

But you can't help it.

"Ich liebe dich, Gellert" his eyes widen a little, a movement so subtle that no one would have noticed. But you were always different. Finally he sighs once again and smiles softly. One last smile towards you.

"I love you too, mein geliebter" the word love rolling out in that accent you love so much.

You want to run towards him. To stay with him forever. To try and convince him to stop this war. To tell him you love him over and over again until your throat is sore and your mouth dries. To make him choose you, to stay with you, forever. You want to tell him to stay to finally see in the mirror of Erised and use it only as a mere mirror, for you would have everything you ever wanted and needed in the world.

This time, you can help it.

You only stay where you are and see him silently apparate. You look where the man you love used to be and think that the headmaster should put a spell to not let anyone apparate inside and outside the school.

You quickly cover the mirror with a move from your wand and promise yourself to never come back.

But knowing yourself, you won't be able to help it.


End file.
